To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“Be yourself. If you water yourself down to please people or to fit in or to not offend anyone, you lose the power, the passion, the freedom and the joy of being uniquely you. It’s much easier to love yourself when you are being yourself.” – Dan Coppersmith
“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” – unknown
Many people I talk with feel that they have no joy in their life. They feel obligated to do so many things that they don’t have time for themselves and the things they really want to do.
As a result, people feel drained, anxious, and resentful. With so many outside forces competing for their time, energy and financial resources, is it really any wonder they feel this way? So what do we do? How can we remain balanced among this sea of obligations and commitments?
The answer is to live consciously. By looking at each decision we are making and by asking ourselves, “Is this really what I want to be doing? Is this really what is right for me?” And then by making sure our actions stay in alignment with our true intentions.
Saying yes when we mean no often causes us not to trust ourselves. It damages our confidence and lowers our self-esteem. We stop trusting ourselves, and that is usually the beginning of all the self-esteem issues and low self confidence.
So why do we do it?
From a young age, we are conditioned to act in certain ways in order to feel loved and accepted. This is the beginning of our loss of personal power and authenticity. A simple example is when our parents tell us what is bad or good, like it is bed to draw on the walls with crayon, but it is good to clean dishes after we eat… and so on. When we born, we are not aware of what is good or what is bad. Yes, conditions and family in which we grow up build us and our personality, but we also can create our own persona as we like later in conscious life.
In order to create change we will need to recondition our beliefs by discovering what is really true for us. Recently, with all life changes, i decided to go to therapy and figure out who i really am. Sometimes we get lost in life, in responsibilities and in other people, usually our loved ones. But who we really are sometimes is more important, and to figure that out sometimes we need guidance. I always felt that i knew exactly who i am and what i want in life, but now i feel lost a little… it is like a juggle, you learn how to juggle with two oranges and then life all of a sudden throws in 3 more, and you need to learn how to juggle 5, and not lose yourself in the process. Because you, are the most important! Your happiness, your piece of mind, without you – what is the point of your life?!
These are the questions I ask myself to become aware of any patterns and beliefs that no longer work for me. Once you become aware of these beliefs, you can simply begin to consciously change them.
Ask yourself: “Why am I doing this? Is it because…”
- I will feel guilty if I don’t?
- Everyone else is doing it, so I should too?
- I want others to think I am a nice person?
- I want to feel accepted?
- I don’t feel good enough about myself to do what is really right for me?
- I have trouble saying “no” or being myself around certain people?
If you have said “yes” to any of the above questions you are cheating yourself out of the things that bring you happiness and joy!
I came across post called “12 things happy people do differently” by Marc
#1 Express Gratitude
*When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciate in value
* If we aren’t thankful for what we already have, we will have a hard time ever being happy
#2 Cultivate Optimism
* People who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in trying times.
#3 Avoid over-thinking and social comparison
* Comparing yourself to someone else can be poisonous
* The only person you should compare to is yourself before now
#4 Practice acts of kindness
* Selfishness helping someone is a super powerful way to feel good inside
#5 Nurture social relationships
* The happiest people on the planet ate the ones who have deep, meaningful relationships
#6 Develop strategies for coping
* It helps to have healthy strategies for coping pre-rehearsal, on-call, and in your arsenal at your disposal
#7 Learn to forgive
* Harboring feelings of hatred is horrible for your well-being
#8 Increase flow experience
* Flow is a state in which it feels like time stands still
* It is when you are focused on what you are doing that you become one with task
* Nothing is distracting you or competing for your focus
#9 Savor life’s joys
* Deep happiness cannot exist without slowing down to enjoy the joy
#10 Commit to your goals
* Magical things start happening when we commit ourselves to doing whatever it takes to get somewhere
#11 Practice Spirituality
* When we practice spirituality or religion, we recognize that life is bigger than us
* We surrender the silly idea that we are the mightiest thing ever
#12 Take care of your body
* Taking care of your body is crucial to being the happiest person you can be.
The next time you hear yourself saying, I love to garden…but I don’t have time or I love to golf…but I’m too busy remember you can choose differently. You can choose to believe you are valuable; what is right for you does matter, and that your happiness is a priority.
Your life is the culmination of each decision you make every moment (whether you are aware of what you are choosing or not). Begin to understand the intention behind every action you take and make a conscious decision to do only what is right for you. Gather the courage each moment and say “no” to anything or anyone that doesn’t allow you to be yourself, or to live in alignment with your dreams.
What will you choose? Will you choose to stay in power by acting with the knowledge that you are responsible for every action in your life? Or will you continue to give your power away in order to feel valued and accepted in the eyes of another?
The choice is ONLY ours to make.
Tagged: actions, beauty, chance, choices, confidence, decision, decisions, freedom, joy, life, obligation, ourselves, people, Philosophy, self esteem, song, to be, trust, you, yourself
